Who Rates Titles to Make Them Over- or Under-Rated? (See Below Below)

Since prospective employers may be perusing this page as we type (ok probably not because it's midnight), I thought it might be helpful to point out some quality traits that you'll find in the former yet forever residents of apt212.

Eric N. Michalak

-Easy to maintain

+ Satisfied by simple, cost-effective meals (EasyMac, Spaghetti-O's, etc.)

+ Entertained by impressive feats of engineering, and super balls.

+ No oil changes required

-Dedicated

+ Desktop background always features something mechanical, usually automobiles

+ Went through the trouble of getting a degree

+ Owns tools

-Team Player

+ Captained a playoff-quality collegiate volleyball team

+ Drove me places a couple times when I asked nicely

+ Contributes to this fine publication

Matthew J. Forrest

-Easy to Maintain

+ Only requires stainless steel water bottle and messenger bag

+ Small carbon footprint (despite larger-than-average feet)

+ Conditioned to exist on little-to-no food (the TKD treatment, inquire within)

-Dedicated

+ Played sand and indoor volleyball despite nature

+ Joined and/or led more organizations that rhyme with "pucker" than you even knew existed, and then some.

+ Owns a globe and knows how to use it

-Team Player

+ Led Ravenclaw, enough said.

+ Oh, and he blogs here too.