Think Before You Hug (Trees)

Found an interesting article today talking about how going out and murdering a tree for Christmas is "greener" (ha-a pun!) than buying a fake tree. Here's the article. And here's the skinny:

Live trees: do the "good tree" thing while they're waiting for you to cut them from their roots (ha-another pun!), then do the "good dead tree" thing when you get rid of it.

Fake trees: are bad.

Which brings me to the ritual of finding a suitable Christmas tree. Every year it's the same: 8-ish feet tall, not too fat, not to skinny, plenty of space to hang the ornaments, some of which are downright obnoxious. In fact, I'd say we have enough outrageous ornaments to post about later. So it used to be my dad, sister, and me. Trekking throw rows and rows of trees just to get to the blue spruce section. Douglas fir? Fuck that. Blue spruce or bust! In the past few years, my mom--bless her pointed heart--has decided to come out with us since her "boy's at home and [she] want[s] to spend time with [me]!"

We always' go to Fred's. Located in...I actually have no clue. Dad knows where he's going. Anyway, Fred's Tree Farm has never let us down. Like any tree farm, there are small holes and stumps all over the place. The fun part is that they're usually covered in snow and thus invisible. So we look for a tree, usually narrowing it down from 2 or 3 that seem particularly suitable. The job of severing our new decoration from its home has fallen (pun?) to me in recent years. (Eagle Scout) My mom and sister insist on yelling "timber!" when the tree comes down, even though they typically have a few false starts.

Getting the tree home is usually an interesting experience. When there were only 3 of us, we just put the tree in the van and someone got the shaft and had to sit next to it. Now we strap it to the roof. I usually tie it down and then pray that it doesn't fall off. We listen to side 1 of the Muppet Christmas tape on the way out, and side 2 on the way back. I can't help but think of our tree when John Denver sings about Alfie, a personified tree in the forest that wishes all of humanity will think about wildlife this Christmas season. For a while, I always just assumed the tree we were cutting down was Alfie. Oops.

Putting the tree up is another ordeal entirely, so I'll stop here for now.