Notent Notables

Eric did a pretty good job chronicling what I'll call my rescue from recycled air and jet engines, for which I am "chicken paprikash and shots" grateful. Seriously. Despite his outward edginess, Eric has some pretty good moments.

Speaking of good moments, this weekend had a few as well. I made a mental list, which I now expunge here:

Rated M for Mature

Walking down the street to the drug store (I needed to shave, and had no such devices for it), this scrawny little kid in skinny jeans and Weezer glasses with "vintage" tee approaches me and says "Hey man, can you help me? I wanna buy some video games but they're rated mature and they won't sell them to me." I cut him off with a rather offish "I'm on a tight schedule." That was a complete lie, but when you hook a kid up with a mature video game, he's gonna want porn and cigarettes. It's like moose and muffins. So following my tight schedule, I turn into the drug store (right next to the video game place), buy what I need, then for added effect (and because it was on sale) grab a candy bar and stroll out of the store smiling and eating a Snickers. Win.

Karma FTW

After my victory over the emo video-game-player wannabe, karma bites me in the ass when probably the only homeless person in Chapel Hill comes up and asks me for part of my candy bar. I ended up getting out of the situation when someone who looked richer than I walked past.

PUT UP YOUR TRAY TABLE!!!!!

Bruce Willis was the lead flight attendant when I flew from Raleigh to Detroit. He told me that my bag would have to be checked plane-side, with sweat glistening on his head. I'm also sure that had there been any terrorists on my flight, he would've taken care of it using only the little drink napkins.

Maxim-um Exposure

The guy sitting next to me on my flight into Dayton asks me "you don't mind if I read this, do you," pointing to his Maxim magazine, still wrapped in the young-eyes-proof plastic. I am holding a book called "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," a comedic book chronicling the sex-driven life of one Tucker Max. (It's hilarious) So I say "look at what I'm holding--go right ahead." So the two of us sat in the back of the plane reading our questionable material. I nearly burst into laughter when I read a story with a lot of poop references. Yes, I'm that immature.

Me Want Luggage!!!

While I sit near the baggage claim waiting for my bag to show up on the carousel, a little boy asks his mom "where do all the bags go?" To which she answers, "back into the tunnel, where the BAGGAGE MONSTER EATS THEM!!!" The kid screams and bolts himself in place. I laugh.

That's all I got.

Currently Listening to: Everyone in my apartment/figure skating music. The second American guy just screwed up. Twice. The Debbie-downer announcers just groaned for 2 minutes straight.